How to be a good guest.
In this blog, or my opinion piece, I would like to talk about being a good guest. I want you to think about these things when you go over other people’s houses.
I call it Guest Etiquette. I was watching a show on TV. I saw a guy named Clinton Kelly address the same things I think about being a good guest, and I just went, “Oh my gosh. I’m not the only person that thinks like this.”
Think about this if you are bringing a food item to somebody’s house, or you have been asked to bring something to someone’s house.
Number One, if you’re bringing something like an appetizer, then you need to show up on time. I once had a person coming over, I had probably 30 people for a Christmas dinner, and this person was insisting that they bring something. Well, I don’t let anybody bring anything, because of the little hang-ups that I have about it.
She said, “Look, I don’t go to people’s houses without bringing anything. I make a really good appetizer vegetable tray and I’m going to bring it.” And I said, “Okay.” Then she shows up two hours late.
I have 30 hungry people and I have to put dinner on the table. It’s now four o’clock I’m really busy in the kitchen. She comes to my house with an ice chest, she pulls in the kitchen, filled with all the vegetables that she wants serve and she needs to cut them up. She wanted a cutting board, then she needed a knife, she did bring her own platter, but it was already too late to eat all of that because it was time to eat dinner now. So, oh my gosh, this is like my worst nightmare ever.
To review – if you’re bringing the appetizers, show up on time.
Number Two, if you are bringing something find out a little about why and what you are bringing. If you’re bringing something, say a salad, is this going to be a fancy dinner? Does the serving dish matter? Are you going to bring something to their house in a Tupperware bowl and she has everything set up really pretty? Find out when you’re going to bring something if you need it in a nice serving dish? Do you to bring a serving utensil? Maybe they expect you to bring potato salad and your own scoop. So, just find out if it’s a fancy, or if it’s just a ‘bring it in a tinfoil pan’ kind of event, knowing in advance helps.
Number Three, don’t bring anything to someone’s house that you need to cook at their house, and if you absolutely have to, ask the host or hostess first. If you can imagine your host or hostess is just totally busy in the kitchen. Then you come over with your unprepared item and that you have to cook it there. That could be a real interruption to the host(ess). The oven or stove might be full already or no sink space. Try not to bring items that you have to prepare at their house.
I recently brought cheese bread to a party. I cleared it with my friend first and I put it on a tinfoil pan so that we could throw it away. I didn’t have to bring a dish home, and she knew in advance I was coming and I that I needed to cook the bread at her house.
So the lesson is, bring your contribution prepared in advance.
Number Four is flowers. People bring flowers to your house and it’s really nice. I love flowers and I’m always grateful. I never actually thought about this before until that Clinton Kelly fellow mentioned that when you bring someone flowers to a party they have to stop what they’re doing, and find a vase. The host or hostess is trying to take your coat, get people drinks, the dogs are barking, they have food in the oven, they are busy.
And even though I love getting flowers, I never really thought about it as actually being that inconvenient, I guess it kind of is. So, if you’re going to bring someone flowers, put it in a vase. We all have generic vases that we want to throw away or take to the thrift store, or you can go to the thrift store and buy one. Now when I get a vase like that, I save it and then I can give it to somebody else. The gift that keeps on giving.
If you want to bring something to your next gathering and they don’t want you to bring anything, but you can’t go empty handed, besides wine and flowers, give them a host(ess) gift like this. You can give them some muffins for them to eat the next day.
If you’re going to bring them a surprise dish or that evening and they have a perfect meal all laid out, a big Italian meal for example, and you come over and bring chicken wings, that they didn’t ask for, that kind of throws the theme off a little. If you feel like you really need to bring them a gift, then bring them something they can enjoy at a later time.
Here is an idea, I had somebody do this for me so now I’m doing it for other people. They took a bunch of lemons and put them in a basket and brought it over and it looked really pretty. Later I went over the same friends house and I had a basket and I took some herbs from some pots that I have in my yard. I took some rosemary, thyme, bay leaves, and some sage. I wrapped them with little ribbons and put them in the basket, so she would have some fresh herbs for some other time. Then tangerines, and then I stuck flowers in between it. It was just beautiful.
Think about gifts like that, take your host(ess) some fruit. Something they can eat later or some cookies or sweets. Something that’s not going to interfere with their theme.
If they’re picky people, which I have a tendency to be, most people are just grateful when you show up on time. And that’s the other thing, don’t show up too early. The thing is you get your house already first, right? And the last thing you do is put makeup on a curl your hair. So, you’re waiting to the last minute to take a shower and you have someone shows up 45 minutes early. What are you going to do with them? So, don’t show up too late, and don’t show up too early. It’s just annoying.
Keep in mind you will have certain friends that you know in advance are always late, so have no expectations. And that’s just that, we eat without them, and then we’re just grateful to see them when they get there, because we love them.
But if you’re bringing food, don’t show up too late.
I have also learned to deal with my being annoyed at all these things and realize life is not such a big damned deal, but if you could go into being a guest with a little more thoughtfulness about these things people will be happier to see you.
Okay. That’s it for my big ol’, “How to be a good guest blog.” Now I’m sure if anybody reads this, they’ll be afraid to come to my house because I sound like I’m a big old witch. Please come anyway, I’d rather be with you than without you.